Wednesday, 21 December 2011

It's Barry Solayme vs GGlumen!!!

The bell rings and they're out. GGlumen is circling calmly, but Solayme is throwing all kinds of wild shots. Some are connecting, but still GGlumen circles. Halfway through the round GGlumen begins to jab with his left. It's devastating for Solayme and his eye is beginning to open up.

Second round and the jabs are still coming thick and fast from GGlumen, while Solayme gnashes his teeth and waits for an opening. There it is! Solayme is flying in with the punches and suddenly GGlumen seems like a spent force.

Third round and the two seem evenly matched. There are some off color shots being landed, but referee Brooks seems disinclined to interveen.

Fourth round and the crowd is going wild. These two heavyweights are slugging it out and the place is a cacophony of catcalls, as Solayme fans start to tear up the seating. Fires are starting in the upper circle, and there is nothing to choose between these fighters.

Fifth round and it's declared a technical knock out! Admittedly, GGlumen was not present, having been in the bathroom adjusting his monocle, but Brooks declares unequivocally for Solayme.

New York triumphs over Baltimore, and the crowd goes wild.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Produce The Ace! A Solayme Classic

Hi folks,

Here is a taster from my new original publication, 'The Naked & the Dead'.


If working with a borrowed deck, quickly run through the pack, as if checking that there are a full 52 pasteboards in the deck. Secretly cull the four aces during this brief process.

Next, palm the top four cards into the right hand using the 'BS-One-Handed-Top-Palm', featured in the optional appendix ($27.78, PayPal the usual address). Now have the spectator shuffle the pack, while holding out the aces!

Now retrieve the pack, adding the palmed cards (using the 'BS-Retrieve-The-Palmed-Cards-Move', featured in "The Worst of Enemies" - $173.69, PayPal the usual).  Next, do an in-jogged overhand shuffle, proving the overall shufflededness of the borrowed deck.

Turn over the top card, showing an ace, and deal that sucker down to the table.

Repeat the original steps, three more times in succession, with ever increasing excitement guaranteed!


Thursday, 10 November 2011

I Went to Hell and Back!

Hi there, folks.

Did you miss me?

One thing's for sure, Jim Callahan, so-called "paranormalist", sure as hell did. No sooner had I started to feel chilly in my cryogenic tank, when I'm suddenly standing in the guy's living room. There he is, on his own, staring into the middle distance, drinking a martini.

"Hi there Jim," says I, "Well I guess you'll be paying me that million!"

He just stares straight through me, like he can't see me! So I did a few things to attract his attention: a couple of card tricks, an a capella rendition of Danny Boy, I even did the soft shoe shuffle. Zip. Squat. Nada. That guy's no frigging psychic, that's for sure. So before I left, I took a ghostly piss in his martini, and wiped myself on the rim of his glass. Boy, he may not have seen me, but he sure as hell tasted me.

So next I pay a visit to James Randi, to tell him what a fraud that Jim Callahan is. Now here's the funny part, I'm standing in front of Randi's desk, and he looks up from his papers and says,

"Hello Barry, what brings you here? I didn't hear you come in."

So basically, James Randi, the skeptic, can see me, but Jim Callahan can't! There's a lesson here somewhere. We got to talking about this and that, and I was getting ready to leave when suddenly I felt hands pulling at me, and whispering voices saying "Come into the light, Barry, Come into the light!" Well, it's not every day that God gets to meet Barry Solayme, so I figured I'd play along until they unfroze me...

I go up this tunnel, and in no time at all I'm in front of these huge shining gates. There's a queue of people lined up, and there's a guy with a book and halo, so I figure this is the gates of heaven.

Sure enough, I sidle up to have a peek, and every time they open to let someone through I can see what's going on inside. First I see Dai Vernon, playing boules with Joan of Arc. Then there's Larry Jennings, showing Mike Skinner how to cook a cheese souffle. Next I see Hofzinser, demonstrating the LePaul spread to the Angel Gabriel; but folks, he's not doing it right! Well, I manage to catch the eye of Al Koran, as I want to get in quick and show him how it's meant to be done. But Al just gives me a smile and nods to the guy holding the book. I'm guessing this is my cue, so I go up to the guy with the book and say,

"Hi there, Barry Solayme's the name! I believe I have a reservation?" He looks me up and down and says,
"Your name is not in the book, Mr Solayme."
"Look fella, I got pulled up here into the light, so you can't tell me my name's not in your goddam book!"
"All are called here," says the guy, "but they are called to be judged. You have been weighed and measured, and you have been found wanting."
"Hey wise-guy, you might be St Peter for all I care, but NOBODY judges Barry Solayme!!"
"I am St Peter," he says, "And you go to hell."
"No Buddy, YOU go to hell. Jeez, you got bad manners for an angel, or whatever."
"You don't understand, Barry Solayme, but you are going to hell. NOW!"

And with that, everything went a bit wibbly-wobbly, like when they have a flashback in Columbo. And next thing I know, I'm standing in front of Satan himself!

Well, I'm not often lost for words, and this was no exception!

"Excuse me Mr Satan, but I think there's been something of a mistake, you see I'm not meant to be down here. And by the way, I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you could really use a bath."
"You are correct, Barry," says Beelzebub, "Whilst you are my instrument of torment on earth, you are not yet ready to take your place amongst the damned," I was beginning to warm to the guy, I admit,   "But come, Barry, and see what I have prepared for you."

So I get a whistle stop tour of the underworld, guided by Old Nick himself. The circle of politicians, the circle of financial advisors, the circle of airline stewardesses (boy, was that ever a mess!), and so on and so forth, until we reach the 10th circle of hell, a circle within the circle of Shaitan himself...

 "Here is the room I have prepared for you, Barry," says he. And with that, we appear at a door, with the words "The W. Somerset Maugham Close-Up Room!" emblazoned in gilt letters. It was classy as hell, and imagine my surprise when it opened into the hippest little magic bar you've ever seen. There were folks waiting patiently around a close-up table, they looked kinda like the crowd from L&L, and there was my name in neon lights above the table, with an empty chair waiting. 

"Anybody got a deck of cards?" says I, as I sidle nonchalantly up to the table. Every hand goes to their pocket or bag, and pretty soon I have an almost infinite choice of borrowed decks. Well, as you know folks, this ain't hell to the likes of me, more like heaven! "I'll take the Jerry's Nuggets," taking a brand new pack from a guy in dark glasses.

Then, the craziest thing happened. I couldn't get their attention. Not a one. As soon as I started a trick, they started talking. It went on for hours! I'd start a routine, and they'd start talking. I'd settle 'em down with a few 'choice' words, and begin a different trick. And sure enough, they'd all start talking, paying me no attention whatsoever. The one time I did manage to hold them for a couple of minutes, a computer appears on the table, and I can see it's logged on to the Magic Cafe. Some guy's flaming me, as per usual, so I have to take five in order to defend myself. But by the time I'd finished, they'd lost interest in the trick!

Well, it was a relief to be brought back by the guys at the cryo-lab. But it started me thinking. I figure I'll spend what time I've got left finding that bit that was 'found wanting', because spending eternity with an L&L crowd ain't my idea of fun, particularly when they're not paying attention. But just in case, I'm working on some new material. I'll swear it's gonna kill 'em down there, just you see if it doesn't!   


Monday, 31 October 2011

Only a few minutes to go...

Well folks, here's my new home.

It's only temporary, and I'm told it'll be cold as hell, but just wait until I collect the million big ones off Jim Callahan. One seance later, and I'll be sitting pretty.

Happy Halloween folks....


Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Barry Solayme & Kaleb Forrestor Present: C.U.N.T.O.M.A.T.I.C

Now I pride myself on performing without gimmicks, often with a borrowed deck. I leave all the gizmos and gadgets to those who actually NEED them! But when Kaleb Forrestor approached me with the "Completely Ultra No Threads Or Magnets Awesome Totally Incredible Control" device, along with a fat cheque from E-52/11, well I had to sign up immediately. As I once said, "a foolish consistency is the Hoboken of little minds!"

Well, minds don't get much bigger or less consistent than mine; so welcome, folks to a new era in magic. Welcome, all of you, to the C.U.N.T.O.M.A.T.I.C......

"Control any object, any time, any place, to any location.... C.U.N.T.O.M.A.T.I.C.

Watch, as your spectators succumb to apoplectic fits..... C.U.N.T.O.M.A.T.I.C.

Be the coolest Street Magician in your town..... C.U.N.T.O.M.A.T.I.C.

The C.U.N.T.O.M.A.T.I.C. By Barry Solayme & Kaleb Forrestor. Own it. Now."

Friday, 9 September 2011

My Next Big Project

Well, thank you all for your kind messages and donations during my stay in hospital over there in England. Jesus, what a total fucking dump. Those dumb assholes couldn't even tell me who to make the cheque out to. And they call it the National Health Service? Those limey fucks.

Anyway, after my unfortunate encounter, I got to thinking about the future, and what might have happened if my fabulous career had been cut prematurely short. Being stripped almost naked and beaten to a pulp by Max Maven while London gangsters cheer him on can do that to a guy.

So it occurred to me that I might take a different type of 'holiday', at least until after Halloween. There's this guy, see, calls himself Jim Callahan. It's strange that he calls himself that, because someone over in England tells me Jim Callahan was probably the most terrible, hopeless, ineffective Prime Minister they ever had. The guy had zero credibility. It's probably just a coincidence. I guess his name was spelled with a G anyhow.

Well, this Jim Callahan has an interesting offer on his website. It seems Mr Callahan is offering $1,000,000 for anyone who's "passed over" (which means ANYONE WHO"S FUCKING "DIED" TO THOSE OF US WHO DON"T BEAT AROUND THE GODDAM BUSH), that will appear in one of his seances. Jim's agreed to renegotiate the terms in my case, and claims he will pay me the $1,000,000 when I appear, right after he gets it from James Randi. Call me stupid, but I think I can trust this guy!

So, my plan is to have myself frozen cryogenically, and after I appear, scaring the shit out of Mr Callahan, naturally, I'll get myself thawed out. And there I'll be, sipping a Creme de Menthe, while Mr Callahan pays over the money. 

I might just buy him a martini while I'm about it.

So Halloween will be the night when the ghost of Barry Solayme haunts Jim Callahan. Watch this space, folks, and don't have nightmares....


Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Q & A with Dicky Kaufman!

Q: Hi Dicky, I'm wondering if the latest copy of Genii finally lays to rest the question 'who was Erdnase?'. I feel you really nailed it, and I'm looking forward to getting some sleep for the first time in 47 years.

R.S. Licker

A: The name is Richard. Richard Kaufman. Yes. We have, as you put it, 'nailed' who Erdnase was. I think the copy was fairly self explanatory. Next?

Q: Dicky, isn't there still some element of doubt as to the real identity of this maverick author and cardician?

A. N. Other

A: 'Cardician' was a term coined after the death of 'Erdnase'. I despise you. Fool. Next?

Q: Isn't this just sham academia masquerading as a real historical endeavour?

E. Gibbon

A: First, you should realise who you are talking to on this forum [sic]. The evidence was clearly and concisely laid out, in well punctuated and grammatical syntax. Need I say more? Next?

Q: Isn't this just a case of trying to drum up more business for a weak publication, already failing due to falling readership, ever increasing internet access and poor management?

J. Swift

A: J. Swift has been banned for further notice. Next?

You are so wonderful, Richard. Thank you for all your contributions to my hobby!! This Erdnase thing was so fascinating, I really thank you for such a wonderful and educative edition.

F. Elcher

A: F. Elcher has become a moderator. The Q & A is now closed.


Saturday, 20 August 2011

"The Aristocrats" by Michael Crass

Hi Everyone,

So I went to a BIG TIME agent in Vancouver with my idea for a new magic show. He said, "Sorry kid, I don't do that kind of thing, it isn't really my bag.."

"Please," I said, "At least let me tell you about it?"

"So, it's a 'dark arts' show, and in the opening the whole theatre is pitch black. Next, the audience starts to hear strange, animal grunting noises. Then slowly, a luminescent, magic wand appears, with a white-gloved hand rubbing it vigorously, in a vertical motion.

Next, my dog Lulu enters, and appears to swallow the wand, but only momentarily. As he backs off, panting, the grunts reach a crescendo and a shower of luminous droplets of magic liquid land on the front row, enhanced by UV light. Next, my family enters singing a medley of Joni Mitchell songs, as the wand gradually, and magically, shrinks to almost nothing. I then appear at centre stage to take the applause!"

There was a long silence, then he said,

"That's truly amazing. What do you call it?"

"The Aristocrats" by Michael Crass.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

News From Michael Crass!

Hi Everyone!

So, although I submitted 4,783 posts since Monday, it seems Rupert has limited me to just once a week. Sorry everybody, but I'll try to fit as much into this one as I possibly can. I just love magic. Magic and theatre. Magic, theatre and singing. Magic, theatre, singing and mentalism. I just love these things, and I want to further our crafts so much that sometimes it feels like I'm just going to explode with so many great ideas bursting to get out!

Talking of which: I've discovered a new, special kind of magic. I'm sure it's just me, and the rest of you may not understand, but I'll try to explain it to you all. Okay, so just recently I've been having the strangest dreams, and I get this magical, tingling feeling "down below". I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. And now, sometimes, in the daytime, it's starting to happen too. A strange, nice, warm, kind of hard feeling. I'm not sure what it is I'm meant to do yet. But it sure feels like some kind of strong magic.

I'm writing an E-Book about it, which is due for release later today, because I have a strange feeling this is going to get very big, if you know what I mean? When I've got it totally figured out, I'll be posting some YouTube videos of my experiments, and I'd be happy if you can all give me some tips and pointers as to where I could go next with it.

Anyway, I've got three plays, four DVD's and another six E-Books to be finishing before lunch, all of which contain my BEST material. I know this stuff is gonna rock your world, so watch this space!


Friday, 12 August 2011

Barry Solayme Injured in London Riots

Dear Readers,

It is with deep regret that I inform you that Barrington Solayme is currently being treated for concussion and facial contusions at Whips Cross Hospital, East London. This is following an incident late on Monday night.

Barrington had gone to visit his Grand-Nephew, Norbert Solayme, in Tottenham, London, when rioting broke out in the immediate vicinity. Showing typical courage and resourcefulness, and showing no thought whatsoever towards his own personal safety, Barrington sallied forth, armed only with a pack of playing cards, to quell the angry mob.

What happened thereafter may only be guessed at, but it seems that the time was not right for the furious London youths to be pacified by Barrington's celebrated ACAAN routines. Sadly, we later came across Barrington, lying face down in the gutter, unconscious, stripped of everything but his underpants, and with worrying injuries to his face and skull.

I know that you will all wish him a speedy recovery, and if any dear readers have any information pertaining to the whereabouts of the callous thugs who set about Barrington so mercilessly, do not hesitate to contact me at this blog. I remain,

Yours Faithfully,

Rupert Twistleton-Wyckham-Cholmondley-Fiennes M.A. (Oxon)

'Agent to the Stars and Beyond'

Friday, 5 August 2011

David Berglas vs. Mark Lewis

Hi Folks,

Well it's time to adjudicate on a couple of old-timers. David Berglas: a little known performer, with terrible dress sense and a "face for radio", and the great Mark Lewis: a world renowned entertainer.

Mark is down on record as having been less than impressed with David's "The Berglas Effect", which I'm told is some lame-ass ACAAN routine which relies on 'improvisation'. Mark has admitted to having solved Dai Vernon's (actually MINE) The Trick That Cannot Be Explained, in terms of cutting out any element of chance. He says that he could do the same thing with David's little known effect, if he could be bothered! 

Full marks to Mark, for not being bothered!!! 

Both routines, ACTUALLY, are MY routines. I developed my improvised ACAAN routine in 1927, the year BEFORE David Berglas was born. But I never use it. It's too easy. I prefer to use a solid, predictable method, that I never have to think about.

Mark's record is legendary, to say the least. A modest, unassuming guy, he has always led the field in advanced magic. First a seller of the revolutionary Svengali Deck, then a performer for children. He even once performed for a member of the British Royal Family! At a boys club. When he was a teenager.

Mark then emigrated to Canada. They like him there.

David, meanwhile, continued to do low profile hack work in Europe, America, Asia, The Far East, The Near East, Africa, Australasia and Scandinavia. 

You begin to see my point? 

Whereas Mark might be compared to a wonderful 2nd violinist for the Cardiff Symphony Orchestra, poor David may just as well be some no talent Jazz schmuck like Charlie Parker, or John Coltrane. (No-talent motherfuckers, both of 'em.) 


Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Screw Those Kids' Magicians

I mean, seriously, fuck 'em all. Those lame-ass douche-bags wouldn't know an ACAAN from a packet trick, those bozos.

They come to us, with their balloon "magic", and their "magic" colouring books. They think they own the frigging place. Goddamit. I don't resent, AT ALL, the number of bookings they receive. I couldn't CARE LESS how much they might make in just one weekend. FUCK 'EM!!! THEY CAN GO AND SUCK THEIR LAME-ASS TT GIMMICK SILK GODDAM SHIT-FOR-WEATHER FUCK-BRAN, CAN GO EAT ITSELF FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND FREAKING DINNER, POSING-POUCH CRAB-MEAT SHIT-BRICKS !!

For all I care.

I don't mind those guys. But......

No passes.

No under-spread controls.

No triple push-overs.

And STILL they win their "made-up" awards. I guess that's just the 'size of my heart'*.


*p.s. And Trudie Styler can kiss my ass.**

** as can Russ Farquhar***

*** as can Shawn Stevens

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

The Good, The Bad and The Mexican Turnover

  Way back in 1896, I was touring Mexico with my world famous escapology act. I had a young kid along as an assistant, Erik Weisz his name was. He was a useful guy to have along, for in those days, Mexico wasn't the safe and stable country we know today! I often wonder what happened to that young man. I'd taught him a few techniques, and he seemed to have the makings of a good amateur. I guess we'll never know.

   It was on a Saturday night in Chihuahua, and I'd just finished another triumphant performance. Young Erik was packing up the handcuffs, when a messenger arrived at the stage door.

"Don Barrios", he said, "My master sends me to ask if you will perform at his Hacienda!"

   I used to get this a lot, south of the border. My fame had spread quickly, and soon I had become known as 'Don Barrios - El Gran Rey dos Culos!', which, in case you don't speak Spanish, is pretty complimentary!!! Anyway, it had been a gruelling week, and all Yours Truly wanted at that moment was a hot meal and a soft mattress.

"Tell your master that Don Barrios send his compliments," I replied, "But, alas, he cannot attend." And I turned to start draining the water tank used in my most death-defying routine, when suddenly I felt a gnarled hand gripping my shoulder,

"Don Barrios, my master will pay many pesos!" said the stranger, in a tone that I didn't altogether like. But I maintained my composure, and spoke reasonably to him. I've always found diplomacy to be the most powerful weapon in these situations!


   Next thing I knew, the stranger had pulled out a gun, and its barrel was now pointed right at my chest. He thrust his face close to mine, and I could smell his breath, thick with cheap tequila.

"My name is El Guapo," he hissed, "A name you would be wise to remember. And my master, senor, is no one less than the indomitable Pancho Villa!"

   At the mention of that name, my blood ran as cold as the Hudson River in mid December. Some called him an outlaw, some a hero. But to me, on that Saturday night in Chihuahua, he was big trouble. Suddenly I felt a very long way from New York City.

"Then let us attend your master, with no further delay," I said, without a flicker of hesitation, "How many pesos did you say again?"

   Soon we were riding, deep into the Mexican mountains, with a string of burros to carry the props. Poor Erik was tied to the back of one of these burros. I was allowed to ride freely, however, as they knew that it would be futile to tie up a master escapologist such as myself. We rode long into the night, and just as my chin was beginning to drop onto my chest, El Guapo gave a low whistle. And somewhere, not far away, we heard an answering call.

"Prepare yourself," said our guide, "And a word of advice, Don Barrios," he leaned across his saddle, "If Don Pancho asks you to play cards, it would be wise not to refuse! But whatever you do, senor, you must let him win..."

   And with that, I was ushered into the Hacienda, and into the presence of the infamous Pancho Villa.

   He fixed me with a gimlet eye, "GET THAT GODAMM FREAKING COCKTAIL OUT OF YOUR FACE!!!" I said. And then I commenced with my escapology act. Needless to say, even without my assistant Erik, the audience was left reeling. (They were Irish Mexicans, you understand, and the reel came naturally to them.)

"Don Barrios," said Pancho, "You have shown us true magic! Now, let us play at the cards, like real men play with one another!"

   Well, folks, how could I resist?  But, of course, the one thing I absolutely had to remember was never to win.... We played for hours. Bezique, Snap, Gin Rummy, even Poker. By dawn, I'd used every technique I knew to make sure Pancho Villa didn't lose. We were on our last game of Snap, and to my horror, the last card in my hand was the Ace of Diamonds, while the face up card on the tabled pile was the Ace of Spades.

   Well now, I tabled that ace face down, and picking up a joker, pulled off the first ever, and totally spontaneous, "Mexican Turnover"!!! Pancho won the game, and young Erik and I escaped to tell the tale. I never had call to use it again until 1932, in Sicily, playing 'Knick Knock Nanny' with Mussolini. But that, as they say, is another story.


Friday, 15 July 2011

The OFFICIAL Aid to News International? ME!!!

Hi Folks!

It's a merry Barry who greets you today! Why? Because I'm the King of the Hill, baby!

Oh, yeah, you're talking to the newest advisor to... well, professional boundaries being what they are, let's say... the Burdochs?

Rupert Burdoch said to me,

"Barry, I need to be able to remember exactly what I don't know, and forget exactly what I do know! Any advice?"

"Rupey baby! Using my tried and tested memory confusion method, you'll be good to go up in front of any committee. Remember, Rupe, they're BRITISH!!! No teeth," I hissed.

"Teach me now," said Rupert.

"That'll be $750,000 down."

I said.


Wednesday, 13 July 2011

How I Invented French Impressionism!

Back in the 60's, (the 1860's), I was travelling back home from Austria, where I'd been teaching some guy called Hofzinser. He never really clicked when it came to cards, and to be honest he looked like he'd be more at home working in some government department!

Anyway, travel in those days wasn't as simple as just getting on a plane! It was steam trains, carriages, boats and sometimes even horseback. Kids today don't know they're born. So I decided to stop for a few days in Paris, the city of romance.

There I was one day, sipping a creme de menthe, when I got into conversation with a bunch of young guys. Something about them told me they were artists. Whether it was the look in their eyes, the way they moved, or the fact that they were covered in paint and carrying brushes and canvases, I'll never know.

They started showing me some paintings, and I remember telling them they were too representational. I suggested they experiment more with light and colors, creating the IMPRESSION of the subject, instead of just slavishly copying.

One picture in particular, by some guy called Manet, had a couple of chicks in it, not leaving much to the imagination, if you know what I mean!!! Well, I said to him, "Eddy," I said, "What this picture needs is a couple of guys, if you get my drift!"
"But Barry," he said, "No one wants to see naked men these days! Zut alors!"
"Eddy," I replied, "Here's the trick. Paint them FULLY CLOTHED!!!!"

And the rest, as they say, is history!


Tuesday, 12 July 2011

MY Weekly Magic Failures!

So, now I'm a *STAR* writer on WMF, I guess I can list my own 'Weekly Magic Failures'. Actually, it's an idea I came up with after talking to Al Koran, back in the 50's. Only I hadn't invented the internet back then, and I've been too busy since. Well done then, 'Roland', for stealing the march on me this time. But that's the ONLY march you're going to steal from now on, believe it!!

1) LENNART GREEN. You know why, you know when. Anytime, any place, you bozo.

2) JOHN BANNON. This loser not only stole all my effects, (Twisted Siblings, Stranger's Galleria etc.), but even went into the legal profession, just because I'm a judge in the Supreme Court!

3) ED MARLO. Need I say more?

4) JERRY SADOWITZ. That douche stole my best material. All my best patter, totally wasted on that no-hoper long-haired tartan-headed Scottish jerk.

5) DERREN BROWN. That's MY Svengali, asshole.

6) RICKY JAY. That slimeball learned card throwing off of me back in the 60's. Now he makes a goddam career out of that shit. YOU, Ricky Jay, ARE A MAGIC FAILURE!!!

7) DENNIS BEHR. Okay, so he hasn't stolen off of me exactly. He just steals off of EVERY GODDAM PERSON. And as for his card handling, well let's just say he needs a few lessons from Yours Truly. Sloppy, Dennis, very sloppy.

Well, I COULD go on. And maybe I WILL. But some other time. I've got a score to settle with Roy Walton first.

On a positive note, I have been favorably impressed with a young man on YouTube, who goes by the name of magicdude09. Watch this young man, as he will be the 'David Blaine' of the future!!!


Derren Brown's Svengali? It's MY Svengali!!

Ok. So I didn't have anything against Mr Brown; not up until last night anyway. Sure, he borrowed some of my stuff, but then they ALL have, over the years. My landmark books, "Solayme's 13 Stairs to Mentalism" and "Solayme's Psychological Subterfuges Volumes I & II" might JUST have had a small 'INFLUENCE' on young Mr Brown. But hey, the kid's not half bad, albeit too much the ladies' man for my taste.

Now I have to be careful, because I'm not going to give out any 'spoilers', but last night I saw his new show, 'Svengali', over in London, where I'm staying as a guest of Her Majesty The Queen.

Two things.

First off, he has a 'prop', which relates to the show's title. I've been looking for that goddam thing for over 200 years, and NOW IT SHOWS UP IN LONDON??? I made that prop, and FOR THE RECORD, MR BROWN, YOU, SIR, ARE A THIEF!!!! I want it back. I don't care how much you paid for it in Philadelphia, it's MINE!!!

Secondly, I CAUGHT THAT FRISBEE, SO WHY IN SAM HELL DIDN'T I GET TO COME ON STAGE, YOU DOUCHEBAG? Except I think I know the reason, Mr Brown....

Sure, you KNEW it was me, Barry Solayme, and you couldn't handle the competition. Sure, the audience would have been all over me like a rash. A couple of card tricks, and Mr Brown would've been yesterday's news. And it would have been ME packing out that London Theater.

I got your number, Mr Brown, and if you can leave those ladies alone for a minute, you might want to think about that!


ACAAN Saves Lives!

Back in the Spring of 1912, I was in England, doing a series of lectures and performances for the royal family. Well, on April 12th, after a triumphant tour, I set sail for NYC on a magnificent ship; it was called "The Titanic"!

We were only three days out of Southampton, when disaster struck, and the unthinkable happened to the unsinkable!!! You guessed it folks, the ship hit an iceberg, and many lives were lost that day. Of course, it was women and children first in the life boats, but I managed to shove a few of the more sickly ones into the water. And so there we all were, adrift in the Atlantic Ocean, without food, fresh water or blankets!

Now as a rule, I NEVER perform for a captive audience, but this seemed to be the one time I had to make an exception. And so, with a BORROWED deck, I commenced performing every variation of ACAAN that I knew. After 37 hours adrift, we were rescued, which was lucky, as I only had a couple of dozen routines left!!

Now I'm no hero. But not a single life was lost on that boat. Sure, most had slipped into a deep coma, but they soon recovered once help arrived. The English king awarded me a Knighthood and a seat in the House of Lords. And to this day, in case of emergency, I always go with ACAAN!!!


Dai Vernon "The Professor"? That's what he called ME!

A couple of 'lovelies' have been shooting off on the internet about Dai Vernon. Honestly, I don't know what it is with you people. Sure, Dai had a nice touch with the cards, he was a good student of mine, and if he'd applied himself a bit MORE then he might have been MORE of a success.

Somehow, there's always been a confusion about the origin of some of my best effects. "Solayme's Revelation", "Barry's Trick That Cannot Be Explained" and "Twisting the Jacks" to name but three. Dai never disputed that these were MY creations, and as he was a friend, I let him publish them back in the day. But all you young punks who worship Vernon would do well to remember what HE used to call ME!!

Yes, that's right, he called me "The Professor". So now you know, don't waste your money on those Vernon books, READ THE ORIGINALS! (Paypal the usual address).


Wednesday, 29 June 2011

The "Gilbreath" Principle My ASS!!!

Back in the 50's, when I was a math professor at Columbia, I discovered an interesting principle that could be used as an application in card magic. I called it "The Solayme Principle". And even though I PUBLISHED IT IN ARMAGEDDON, JUNE 1957, all the credit went to some bozo named Norman Gilbreath, WHO DIDN'T PUBLISH UNTIL JULY 1957!!! Since then, it has always been referred to as the "Gilbreath Principle". Well I'm finally going to put this matter to rest once and for all. THAT IDEA WAS MINE, I DID THE MATH, AND HE STOLE IT!!!

So next time you do an effect using this principle, just remember who came up with it: ME, THAT'S WHO!!! It's about time people gave it its proper name: "The Solayme Principle".


An Unequivocal Apology

Well folks, it seems I made a mistake. I may have got a bit carried away in the comments on my classic Ambitious Card Routine. It seems that Sebastian (A.K.A. XCM Master) is actually a fine upstanding young man, who happens to have dyslexia. Sorry Sebastian, I too suffer from that affliction, and have only overcome it using spellcheck and hard work.

Also, Sebastian's mother, who as it turns out is a prosecuting attorney, has never, repeat never, prostituted herself for crack cocaine, nor has she ever, at any point, had sex with a mailman. Sorry Mrs. deWeert, I mis-spoke.

To make up for it, I've sent young Sebastian a complete collection of my 893 books, retail value $45,000. I hope you enjoy, Sebastian, and keep practicing!


Tuesday, 28 June 2011

ACR - A Solayme Classic

Many people ask me, "Barry, what's your single greatest achievement in the world of magic?"

Well folks, that really is an IMPOSSIBLE question!!! There have been so many, you see. But I thought I'd make an occasional feature of some classic gems that I've contributed to the world of magic over the many years of creating miracles. So, if you see a post with 'A Solayme Classic' in the title, be sure to PAY ATTENTION!!!

Here goes with Barry Solayme's Ambitious Card Routine (ACR), first published by yours truly in Armageddon, back in the day. I don't remember the exact date: Richard?!

   First off, I get the spectator to shuffle the pack. Then ask him to deal it into 26 piles, with two cards in each pile. Next, ask the spectator to choose a pile. Eliminate that pile, asking him to choose again. Continue doing this until there is only one pile left. Now the spectator must choose between the two remaining cards. Whichever card is left becomes 'The Ambitious Card'! Some folks like the spectator to sign the card, but I find that adds little to the impact.

   The second phase involves some difficult slights, so lesser magicians may wish to skip to the next phase. First, ask the spectator to replace the the card to the top, then over-hand shuffle the selection to the bottom. Now over-hand shuffle it back to the top and ask the spectator to remove the top card - this will blow them away, because it is, of course, their selection!!!

   For the third phase, have the card replaced back on top. If you know a false cut then now is the time to use it! If not, then palm off the top card, hand the deck to the spectator and have them shuffle it. Now ask them to check the top card, NOT their selection, and take back the pack, secretly replacing their selection to the top. Now, after an appropriate magical gesture, show them the top card - THIS WILL KNOCK THEIR SOCKS OFF!!!!

   Finally, using the 'Solayme Tilt' (Armageddon 1948), position the selection 2nd from top. Now show the top and bottom card. Place the top card roughly into the center of the pack saying, "Let's burn that card". Then, after a magical gesture, show them for the final time that their selection has come to the top!!! This gets me a standing ovation from family and friends alike!!!

Enjoy, and keep practicing!!!






The Classic Pass - its TRUE origin!

The 'classic pass', or 'shift', or 'hop' has had many claimants over the years as to its originator. Now I don't want to get into a debate on history. I'll leave that to the experts. I'm just a humble card man, and I don't want to get into politics right now. But here's a thought: has anyone noticed the similarity between the pass as described by a certain S.W. Erdnase in 1902 and the pass as described by me, Barry Solayme, in the December 1901 edition of Armageddon?

I thought as much. Apart from the fact that the guy COULDN"T WRITE TO SAVE HIS LIFE, and the TERRIBLE ILLUSTRATIONS, there are a hell of a lot of coincidences. Too many to be a coincidence, if you take my meaning...

Now, no one claims that Erdnase invented the pass, some say it's hundreds of years old, as old as playing cards themselves in fact. I'm not disputing that. Like I said, I leave that to all you historians. But when I was court magician to a certain King Arthur, back in the day, let's just say I had a pretty radical idea involving 52 pieces of rectangular, stiffened parchment. Let's just leave it at that.

Oh, and by the way, it might not be a COINCIDENCE, that if you take the letters of BARRY SOLAYME, mix them up, take some away, then add a couple, you get "MERLIN". Just saying.


Lennart Green, that no-talent rip-off schmuck!

Everywhere I look now the kids are praising Lennart Green, that Swedish bozo. Lennart Green: they say he re-invented card magic. Ha! THAT GUY IS JUST SLOPPY! Look at his handling, the man's nothing but a bungling amateur. His so-called 'Lazer Deal' is really one of my sleights, published in Armageddon, (I forget when exactly), and it was called Barry Solayme's 'Phazer Deal'. A lot of people don't realize it, but I gave Gene Roddenberry the idea for Star Trek, only my idea was called 'Star Wars'. Some other guy ripped that off too, but I won't get into it right now.

Anyway, that herring-guzzler stole my 'Phazer Deal', my 'Wind-turbine Crescent Move' and many others besides. He followed me around Sweden back in the 40's, then stowed away on the plane back to New York. Then the guy stalked me for a decade while I got my medical degree (a lot of people don't realize I invented open heart surgery). Meanwhile, what did Green do? Just your basic rip-off no-talent card man. He never even took the time to clear up his messy sleights. My mother had more skill with cards.

Where would he be if it wasn't for yours truly? NOWHERE! THAT'S WHERE!!!