Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Lennart Green, that no-talent rip-off schmuck!

Everywhere I look now the kids are praising Lennart Green, that Swedish bozo. Lennart Green: they say he re-invented card magic. Ha! THAT GUY IS JUST SLOPPY! Look at his handling, the man's nothing but a bungling amateur. His so-called 'Lazer Deal' is really one of my sleights, published in Armageddon, (I forget when exactly), and it was called Barry Solayme's 'Phazer Deal'. A lot of people don't realize it, but I gave Gene Roddenberry the idea for Star Trek, only my idea was called 'Star Wars'. Some other guy ripped that off too, but I won't get into it right now.

Anyway, that herring-guzzler stole my 'Phazer Deal', my 'Wind-turbine Crescent Move' and many others besides. He followed me around Sweden back in the 40's, then stowed away on the plane back to New York. Then the guy stalked me for a decade while I got my medical degree (a lot of people don't realize I invented open heart surgery). Meanwhile, what did Green do? Just your basic rip-off no-talent card man. He never even took the time to clear up his messy sleights. My mother had more skill with cards.

Where would he be if it wasn't for yours truly? NOWHERE! THAT'S WHERE!!!



  1. I couldn't agree more Barry. As a trained harpsichordist, composer, Peruvian nose-flautist and vocalist, I should know about card magic.

    Whereas Barry's work might be likened to the sublime late quartets by Schoenberg, or the 2nd movement of Respighi's piano concerto in A minor, Lennart Green's efforts have more in common with the dreadful caterwauling of a twenty-something prostitute, gyrating and ululating on M-TV.

    Just as my taste in music is second to none, as members at the Cafe will attest, thus it affords me an exceptional insight into the finer points of magic. And everything else as well, for that matter.

    Lennart Green's pizzicato is lack-lustre, his command of Bel Canto merely risible, and as for his grasp of counter-point? Words fail me.

    However, I must continue, if only in support of dear Barry, that sublime virtuoso of the card table. Were Green's sleights in the nature of affectionate tribute, as in Bartok's Concerto for Orchestra, underlined by real originality, it would be another matter. But this is more akin to a thieving magpie, not Rossini's you understand, but a pernicious thief preying on a great genius.

    We must all be grateful to Barry. Long may he reign.

  2. Thanks Don, I appreciate the kind words.


  3. Every day I thank the Almighty for all your wonderful contributions to the world of magic. Thank you Barry! God Bless you!!!