MY Weekly Magic Failures!

So, now I'm a *STAR* writer on WMF, I guess I can list my own 'Weekly Magic Failures'. Actually, it's an idea I came up with after talking to Al Koran, back in the 50's. Only I hadn't invented the internet back then, and I've been too busy since. Well done then, 'Roland', for stealing the march on me this time. But that's the ONLY march you're going to steal from now on, believe it!!

1) LENNART GREEN. You know why, you know when. Anytime, any place, you bozo.

2) JOHN BANNON. This loser not only stole all my effects, (Twisted Siblings, Stranger's Galleria etc.), but even went into the legal profession, just because I'm a judge in the Supreme Court!

3) ED MARLO. Need I say more?

4) JERRY SADOWITZ. That douche stole my best material. All my best patter, totally wasted on that no-hoper long-haired tartan-headed Scottish jerk.

5) DERREN BROWN. That's MY Svengali, asshole.

6) RICKY JAY. That slimeball learned card throwing off of me back in the 60's. Now he makes a goddam career out of that shit. YOU, Ricky Jay, ARE A MAGIC FAILURE!!!

7) DENNIS BEHR. Okay, so he hasn't stolen off of me exactly. He just steals off of EVERY GODDAM PERSON. And as for his card handling, well let's just say he needs a few lessons from Yours Truly. Sloppy, Dennis, very sloppy.

Well, I COULD go on. And maybe I WILL. But some other time. I've got a score to settle with Roy Walton first.

On a positive note, I have been favorably impressed with a young man on YouTube, who goes by the name of magicdude09. Watch this young man, as he will be the 'David Blaine' of the future!!!

BS