Friday, 12 August 2011
Barry Solayme Injured in London Riots
It is with deep regret that I inform you that Barrington Solayme is currently being treated for concussion and facial contusions at Whips Cross Hospital, East London. This is following an incident late on Monday night.
Barrington had gone to visit his Grand-Nephew, Norbert Solayme, in Tottenham, London, when rioting broke out in the immediate vicinity. Showing typical courage and resourcefulness, and showing no thought whatsoever towards his own personal safety, Barrington sallied forth, armed only with a pack of playing cards, to quell the angry mob.
What happened thereafter may only be guessed at, but it seems that the time was not right for the furious London youths to be pacified by Barrington's celebrated ACAAN routines. Sadly, we later came across Barrington, lying face down in the gutter, unconscious, stripped of everything but his underpants, and with worrying injuries to his face and skull.
I know that you will all wish him a speedy recovery, and if any dear readers have any information pertaining to the whereabouts of the callous thugs who set about Barrington so mercilessly, do not hesitate to contact me at this blog. I remain,
Rupert Twistleton-Wyckham-Cholmondley-Fiennes M.A. (Oxon)
'Agent to the Stars and Beyond'