Cheerio

Folks,

Thinking of Kevin: fuck this noise.

Fuck all those malevolent, self-promoting, back-biting arrogant turds.

Cheers to the humble and unwieldy. Cheers to Roland for letting me loose, cheers to the readers. Both of 'em.

Sometimes, the Internet makes me cry.

And that's not,

BS

PS Don't worry, Mr Donkey, it's the last ever post.

PPS

Posted: Apr 6, 2013 12:47pm                 Kevin, Max gave you the chance of a lifetime. stop whining. It's up to you to get your sh*t together and do this yourself, not with Max's help. He did his job, He opened the door for you, now you must step through, and grow up. No one here is going to do this for you. Stop your whining and get yourself cleaned up and your butt in gear. Not many people get a chance like you have been given by Max. You are not even a member, you are a guest! No one is going to hold your hand and walk you through this, you have made some serious claims as to your abilities, now go prove what you claim. Stop bragging, you talk the talk, but your vids show otherwise. seriously, Sit down and write your lecture, practice your routines, speaking LOUDLY, why? your voice in all your vids is weak and soft, with no projection or confidence. If I went to a lecture where a speaker talked like you I would walk in a heartbeat. There is no enthusiasm in your voice...ever...even your post are full of negatives constantly crying and whining. You seriously need to grow up if you want to be recognized as a Real Magi, and not some show off throwing names around like Ponta's. No on cares about all your name dropping. It will get you no where in this life. If you want people to take you serious, then you must ACT the part. 10,000 hours does not make you this so called Master. good luck.

What a fucking prick.

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Brenda has been tirelessly working on her 'Bush Test' for almost two weeks now, and is excited to bring it to market via Barry Solayme Enterprises.

The spectator is presented with three, famous bushes. They may choose between Joan Rivers, Sarah Palin or Marilyn Manson! You, the mentalist, can tell not only whose bush the spectator has chosen, but which particular pubic hair is being examined, and how grizzled it is. 

There's nothing about these bushes you won't know, so order now!

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BS

[All bushes supplied for "The Ultimate Bush Test" are replica bushes only.] 

Who Runs "Real Secrets"? What are you? A moron?

God you people are dumb.

"We don't know who is behind Real Secrets!"

"The problem is we don't know who's in charge!"

"It's some of the top names in magic, and this is their worker material!"

Oh yeah? And my name's Shelley Winters. Boo-hoo-fuckin'-hoo.

Well you're all half-right about one thing: it's not just some of the "top names", it's THE FRIGGING TOP NAME, AND THAT NAME IS BARRY SOLAYME.

And now I got Ritchie Kaufman wanting me to pay for lawyers; Mike Weber says that unless I give him another marketing opportunity, he's gonna frigging walk, that mincing asshole. Half the goddam Internet has gone up in flames, and nobody is giving ME, the GENIUS who started the whole thing, any credit whatsoever! You dick shits.

I paid that weasel, Tom Stone, to back Real Secrets on 'Magic Bunny', and he goes and tells the fucking truth? That CUNT! Fortunately for me, they seem to be too stupid to realize it and ended by insulting him. My lucky day. That goddam Dane is regretting the day he stole my "Benson Flamer" routine. Oh yeah, don't you worry about Tom Stone, he'll get what's coming to him alright.

And Michael Jay? That man should be locked up, along with Ian Kendall, even though he's a subscriber. Those guys get right up my ass.

But here's the point, people, and here's why I'm going public.

WHAT"S WITH ALL THE STUFF ABOUT "FIGHT CLUB"?

I know what you people are doing and you think you're real clever, don't you? Yeah, sure, taking shots at me and my Miniature Dachshund, 'Sandy'. I know your game and I think it's pathetic. You want to use film references to insult me and my Miniature Dachshund? Go right ahead, because you are JUST SICK!!!

Sure, take all the cheap shots you want, talk about the "rules of fight club", talk about "we do not talk about fight club". Go ahead, take your best shot. I know your game. But here's where you screwed up, buddy boys, BECAUSE SANDY, MY MINIATURE DACHSHUND, CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR PATHETIC TAUNTS. SO SCREW YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS, YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES, BECAUSE I DON'T NEED ANY REAL SECRETS MEMBERS ANYWAY. I'M RICH ENOUGH ALREADY!

And you, Ritchie Kaufman, I finally get to tell you that your Pass sucks. It's always sucked, and you suck with it. I liked you better when you still wet your pants and hadn't read about Napoleon before crying yourself to sleep.

As for you, Weber, your commitment has been lacking. Sorely lacking. I know where the bodies are buried, Mikey. I know your sources. You need to come see me, and make sure you bring your fucking wallet. The one with money in it, this time.

You assholes have fucked this whole idea up, because you're a bunch of no-good, lazy, masturbatory circle-jerkers. I gave you the Holy Grail of usury, and you turned it to shit in 12 months.

WAY TO GO, "TEAM"!

You are all dismissed.

Kiss my ring on the way out. Chicken shit motherfuckers.

BS