Tuesday, 12 July 2011
ACAAN Saves Lives!
Back in the Spring of 1912, I was in England, doing a series of lectures and performances for the royal family. Well, on April 12th, after a triumphant tour, I set sail for NYC on a magnificent ship; it was called "The Titanic"!
We were only three days out of Southampton, when disaster struck, and the unthinkable happened to the unsinkable!!! You guessed it folks, the ship hit an iceberg, and many lives were lost that day. Of course, it was women and children first in the life boats, but I managed to shove a few of the more sickly ones into the water. And so there we all were, adrift in the Atlantic Ocean, without food, fresh water or blankets!
Now as a rule, I NEVER perform for a captive audience, but this seemed to be the one time I had to make an exception. And so, with a BORROWED deck, I commenced performing every variation of ACAAN that I knew. After 37 hours adrift, we were rescued, which was lucky, as I only had a couple of dozen routines left!!
Now I'm no hero. But not a single life was lost on that boat. Sure, most had slipped into a deep coma, but they soon recovered once help arrived. The English king awarded me a Knighthood and a seat in the House of Lords. And to this day, in case of emergency, I always go with ACAAN!!!