Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Derren Brown's Svengali? It's MY Svengali!!
Ok. So I didn't have anything against Mr Brown; not up until last night anyway. Sure, he borrowed some of my stuff, but then they ALL have, over the years. My landmark books, "Solayme's 13 Stairs to Mentalism" and "Solayme's Psychological Subterfuges Volumes I & II" might JUST have had a small 'INFLUENCE' on young Mr Brown. But hey, the kid's not half bad, albeit too much the ladies' man for my taste.
Now I have to be careful, because I'm not going to give out any 'spoilers', but last night I saw his new show, 'Svengali', over in London, where I'm staying as a guest of Her Majesty The Queen.
First off, he has a 'prop', which relates to the show's title. I've been looking for that goddam thing for over 200 years, and NOW IT SHOWS UP IN LONDON??? I made that prop, and FOR THE RECORD, MR BROWN, YOU, SIR, ARE A THIEF!!!! I want it back. I don't care how much you paid for it in Philadelphia, it's MINE!!!
Secondly, I CAUGHT THAT FRISBEE, SO WHY IN SAM HELL DIDN'T I GET TO COME ON STAGE, YOU DOUCHEBAG? Except I think I know the reason, Mr Brown....
Sure, you KNEW it was me, Barry Solayme, and you couldn't handle the competition. Sure, the audience would have been all over me like a rash. A couple of card tricks, and Mr Brown would've been yesterday's news. And it would have been ME packing out that London Theater.
I got your number, Mr Brown, and if you can leave those ladies alone for a minute, you might want to think about that!