Friday, 17 February 2012

The Solayme Internet Diaries 2 - **/**/2012

Dear Diary,

I had that Andrew M. on the phone all night. Jeez, what a total shower.


He can't decide what he wants to be. As a journalist he blathers, as a magician he blithers. The guy should just knuckle down and go into business. It's clear to many, but opaque to the mighty boob.

Ben T. has the right idea, with all that Blue Bellend bullshit. It's a load of pussy whip, maybe, but Andrew M. would fit right in. If I have to read through one more rambling piece of crap at "Ye Olde Piece O' Shit Shoppe", then I think I'll fucking puke. That place sucks serious cock already.

* * * * *

Now Vlad69 won't stop crying. I told him "Ahimsa" but he says it's ruined. How can a freaking word be ruined, for chrissakes? That goddam pussy. Still, he buys my books, and according to himself he's some kind of Rosa Parks character. Who knew...


* * * * *


Finally, Damian J. has overstepped the mark in releasing MY effect, "DICKWANKERED" as "COCKWANKED", which is clearly an infringement of copyright. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE MR SUSSEX GOAT, AND I'LL HOUND YOU TO THE END OF THE FREAKING PLANET!!


And I've got the pirate on my side. 

And he says.... 

Ahaaaaaargh......

(and he's got some vicious balloon animals for your ass)

BS


9 comments:

  1. Ahaha-haha. Haha ha.

    [complex smiley icon]

    *wit*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Get the fuck off my blog you parasite.

    BS

    ReplyDelete
  3. YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!

    YOU SHIT-EATING ASS-HOLES!!!!


    He may be my protege, and he may, on my advice, have a big minder. But what is wrong with you stupid limey fucks? Can't you challenge Quasimodo?

    Surely, he's due for a good BaLo force right in the kisser. I've told the retard, after all.

    He drinks diet coke, it's a dead tell.....

    BS

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh fuck off, you self-satisfied wanker.

    BS

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the shout-out, Barry! Coming up soon is a 20,000 word dissertation on the merits of push-off get-readies for DL versus the other kinds. It'll be some nice light reading for anybody on a transatlantic flight.

    A word of warning, though. Mr. Lorayne's temporary ban at the Magic Cafe has apparently lapsed, and he should be posting any day now. Look out for more confusion between the two or you...

    ReplyDelete
  6. My pleasure, young Andrew. Don't forget what I told you about how to market that dissertation! Sell that sweet piece of ass for all it's worth. And tell those jerks over at the Blue Tiara to start returning my calls. Who the hell do they think they are already?

    Harry Lorayne is no more than a cheap impostor. He models himself on me, but whereas I am erudite and articulate, he is just goddam rude. That phoney dip-shit.

    BS

    ReplyDelete