Get it while it's hot, folks!
It's the all new 'Bush Test', by "Scum School" impressaria, Brenda Bogbrush!
Brenda has been tirelessly working on her 'Bush Test' for almost two weeks now, and is excited to bring it to market via Barry Solayme Enterprises.
The spectator is presented with three, famous bushes. They may choose between Joan Rivers, Sarah Palin or Marilyn Manson! You, the mentalist, can tell not only whose bush the spectator has chosen, but which particular pubic hair is being examined, and how grizzled it is.
There's nothing about these bushes you won't know, so order now!
Only $298.97 per bush.
BS
[All bushes supplied for "The Ultimate Bush Test" are replica bushes only.]
Well I think it's a crying shame. Why does Brenda have to expose all those bushes like that? I mean, she's a nice enough gal, I'm sure, but I just don't see the need.
ReplyDeleteSay, can any of you guys tell me which way I'm meant to pee? Sometimes it gets kinda difficult, and I'm never sure to do do it sideways or laying down.
LOL
The squirt-master predicted this only yesterday, and here I am making the first post!
ReplyDeleteLOL, Jimmy, how come you always get in there first!! One day I'll beat ya there!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm asserting my right to have a bush, regardless of intellectual property law. My bush is my bush, and I'll do what I want with it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I released my bush onto the open market, I wanted as many people to use it as possible, although Brown Crown wanted to use it too. All the time.
I can't believe your assumptions about my bush: it's for everyone, and I've researched it.
Your assertions about rights to your bush are ill informed.
ReplyDeleteIf I bought your bush, it does not mean I can rent it out to all-comers. Me buying your bush gives me sole use of it, my rights do not extend to pimping your bush.
You clearly know nothing of bush craft.
"Your assertions about rights to your bush are ill informed. "
ReplyDeleteNo, it is MY bush, I own the rights to MY bush.
"If I bought your bush, it does not mean I can rent it out to all-comers. Me buying your bush gives me sole use of it, my rights do not extend to pimping your bush."
I am happy for you to rent out my bush, if you have first bought my bush. It is MY bush.
"You clearly know nothing of bush craft."
Actually, I am a world champion at bush craft. I once picked out Nicole Kidman's bush from amongst three dozen similarly wiry, brown bushes.
Is this the way to Amarillo?
ReplyDelete{"Your assertions about rights to your bush are ill informed. "
ReplyDeleteNo, it is MY bush, I own the rights to MY bush.}
You still don't understand the laws pertaining to ownership and usage of bush.
{"If I bought your bush, it does not mean I can rent it out to all-comers. Me buying your bush gives me sole use of it, my rights do not extend to pimping your bush."
I am happy for you to rent out my bush, if you have first bought my bush. It is MY bush.}
Whether or not you want me to pimp your bush, it is not within my purchasing rights. When I buy your bush, I buy it for my sole use.
{"You clearly know nothing of bush craft."
Actually, I am a world champion at bush craft. I once picked out Nicole Kidman's bush from amongst three dozen similarly wiry, brown bushes.}
Anyone can do that. I once identified Oprah's bush, blindfolded, amongst a swimming pool full of squid.
Now listen, you goddam fucking pricks, and listen good.
ReplyDeleteI don't care whose bush you felt or when, I don't care if you pretend to be a Simpsons character and look like the comic book shop owner. I don't give a fuck.
But Dan Harlan is coming down here, and he's pissed. Now be afraid, people.
Not that I didn't fuck him up the ass right before I wiped my cock on his curtains. But that's another story, as they say.
BS
"Now listen, you goddam fucking pricks, and listen good.
ReplyDeleteI don't care whose bush you felt or when, I don't care if you pretend to be a Simpsons character and look like the comic book shop owner. I don't give a fuck.
But Dan Harlan is coming down here, and he's pissed. Now be afraid, people.
Not that I didn't fuck him up the ass right before I wiped my cock on his curtains. But that's another story, as they say.
BS"
Well what rattled your cage, BS? I don't respond threats and bad language.
As if you can intimidate me. So many assumptions. So many poor, meagre fools.
Oh yeah, you fat fuck?
ReplyDeleteHow about I come round your frigging house with a baseball bat, how'd ya like that?
Don't think I haven't done it before, liver lips, I've done it plenty.
BS
And for my next trick, I will reveal my true identity!
ReplyDeleteJS
Oh yeah?
ReplyDeleteWho the fuck are you, dick shit?
BS
I am the famous Richard Kaufman, you prick. Go figure that one out.
ReplyDeleteJS
Oh yeah?
ReplyDeleteWell your initials are JS, motherfucker, so that means you are actually the famous British journalist, John Sergeant.
So fuck you, Jimmie McSquirtypants.
BS
No, I really am Jerry Sadowitz.
ReplyDeleteJS
OH YEAH?
ReplyDeleteWELL YOU CAN TELL ROY WALTON FROM ME THAT I SAID "HOW HIGH". NOT "HI", JERRY, DON'T GET THAT WRONG.
YOU CAN TELL ME WHY YOU DOUBLE CROSSED ME AT TAM SHEPHERD'S THE OTHER WEEK.
WHERE WAS MY BACK UP? YOU ASSHOLE.
YOU'LL GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT.
AND NEXT TIME I SEE YOU? I WILL ACTUALLY FUCKING KILL YOU. AND ROY, AND DAVE. ESPECIALLY DAVE.
I'M GIVING YOU THE BLACK SPOT, YOU POT BELLIED CREEP.
BS
Well, I thought Jimmy was the limit, and then Barry shows up and spoils everything. [BLUE SMILEY]
ReplyDeleteExcuse me while I sound like a cunt. [Blue Smiley]
LOL Guys!!! A little help here??!!!
ReplyDeleteI still can't figure out how to pee!!!
Any help from you guys would be great LOL!!!
I love you guys!!!! LOL
I think I can help you with that, Handlebarini.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we could be alone for a while?
Oh, I'd really like that, Frenchy.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah.
YEAH!!!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, Barry, you seem homophobic. Are you secretly gay yourself?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNOW YOU FUCKERS TAKE THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE. YOU DISGUST ME!
ReplyDeleteGET THE FUCK OFF OF MY WEBSPACE, YOU CUNTS!!!
BS
And don't come back.
ReplyDeleteBS
...Every night I've been hugging my pillow...
ReplyDeleteAnd you can fuck off, you vacuous fuck.
ReplyDeleteBS
Hey Barry,
ReplyDeleteI have ALL your books, and I totally love your work!!!!
I once did your Barry's Bounce routine to some co-workers and they totally flipped. It was amazing.
I mean, a few dozen times I totally fucked up, but the one time I got it right it was totally awesome!!!!
Thanks, Barry, for your great work!!!!
I totally love you, and it is a privilege to post on your site, Barry!!! You are so great.
Well, Doug, you just need to buy the reprint. I explain it in bigger letters.
ReplyDeleteBS