Saturday 18 January 2014

Card in a fucking box already.

Hi folks,

Well, last year, we had this:



And this:




But, AND IT'S A BIG FUCKING BUT, many years ago, we had this:





And then this guy came along:



And then this guy showed up:




And they then blazed a trail to the situation we find ourselves in today: COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FUCKED UP OUR OWN FUCKING ASSES.

Why improve on genius? Oh, yeah, it's because people like this ....


 


... don't know what the fucking hell they are doing. Never mind the "routine". What a switch! My grandmother could switch her left tit for a cabbage better than that. Just watch that guilty fucking switch. If he gets that box into his chest any further it would result in a male mastectomy, which in his case would probably count as corrective surgery. And then watch the rest. And then take a fucking shotgun, and blow your own brains out.

"Good work," says the underwhelmed shopper, when witnessing this half-baked, poorly performed shit. The next effort is treated with the silent contempt it deserves. By a child. 

Whereas, "Oh Jesus Christ, it's a fucking miracle," thinks the audience, when watching Tommy Wonder, "I have just cum."

If you are thinking about making a box, or if you know someone like Matthew Wright ,who has just done this:





Then, please, just fuck off. And go read a book. Or have a wank. Or anything else you fancy. Just no more fucking card to boxes. 



BS

[And yes, I know the card in box predates Tommy Wonder. I fucking invented it in 1672. I showed it to a certain monarch, in fact, but that's a different story.]



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P.S. Thanks to Craigie, I can show you a beautiful piece of comedy magic!

Who would have thought that David Penn would have taken so much effort to play this wonderful joke on the magic community? Well done, David, you spared no expense. Thanks buddy!






3 comments:

  1. Since you bring up the lightning box by Kohler.... I had that thing for a while (magician send it to me to "try" it out) and I have to say it is damn satisfying to work with. Wonder's version didn't look good as the thing was dumped out. Kennedy's version was better in that regard, but still you had to pay attention t the orientation of the box. Kohler's box really made it easy to work with. But a 150 dollar solution for a non existing problem?

    Right now I use one of those click tins. Mercury card fits in nicely, even jams itself in, without any need for thread, glue or wahtever. So click tin for the rescue. They are cheap, replaceable, and you can have mints in there.

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  2. Dont forget to add FOB by David Penn too your list of pish!

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  3. Ah yes, FOB, I will add that for comedy purposes. That 'move' is so frigging hideous I had banished it from my brain. You are quite right, it deserves its place in the pantheon of unnecessary fixes to SOMETHING THAT ISN'T FUCKING BROKEN!

    Roland, I'm not surprised the Kohler piece is well made and good to use. I've got a couple of his items, they are superb. I really don't like the look of the box, however, and as you say, what the Kennedy, Kohler, Regal and Southworth offerings achieve isn't actually needed. Personally, I think if you use the Wonder box properly, i.e. with the MF'd card hanging from the lid, the illusion is so perfect that there is no need to worry.

    Still, I'm a grumpy old bastard, so to each their own.

    BS

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