9........

So,

Out of all the thousands of entries to my competition, I have one thing to say....

CALL YOURSELVES MAGICIANS? YOU GUYS COULDN'T ORGANIZE A CRAP SHOOT IN A WHOREHOUSE FOR CRISSAKES!

Lamentable. Laughable. Like you bozos have feet at the end of your wrists!

Okay, here's what I'll do. I'll "upload", despite being a lousy computer person, my own performance of a Solayme classic. Then you'll see what real magic is all about.

Then, after that, I'll finally spill the beans about me and Roy Walton.

But it ain't pretty. No. It's one sordid story of love, betrayal, a terrible haircut, more love, another two betrayals, Telly Savalas and a tub of jello.

No, it wasn't pretty. But it's a story that needs telling.

BS

10........

Well Folks,

                  "Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
                    It tolls for thee, Barry Solayme!"

Thus spoke the famous novelist, William Shakespeare.

There's a new, FAKE kid in town, calling himself "LARRY HORAYNE". He's pretending to be Yours Truly, but really he is JUST SO MUCH JISM OFF MY THROBBING, LEAKING COCK ALREADY!!!

Alright, the kid seems to know about cards, some. FROM HAVING READ AND DIGESTED ALL MY FREAKIN' BOOKS, THAT IS! But the kid is full of psychobabble, and has probably been hitting the creme de menthe once too often.

All the same, I feel it might be time to hang up my gloves. So I'm offering a countdown.

A final countdown.

I want your presentation of a Solayme Classic, on video, for my final countdown. This is number ten, so I await your offerings! I nominate Roland to go first, followed by Larry Horayne, (THAT LOW DOWN GOON)

I suggest you click this link before recording your Barry Solayme Classic Routine.

BS

What's Good for the Goat is Gold for the Goose

Well Folks,

I've been besieged by hate. Assailed by ignorance. I've been wilfully misunderstood, and all in the name of transparency. Meanwhile, Tricky Dicky turns his "classic pass" eye to the internet denigration of a magic legend, and some English schmuck defecates all over my reputation?


Again?

The summit of this guy's output is a BLUE RIP-OFF, OF OFF A BLUE RIP-OFF ARTIST!

Big friggin' whoop-di-doo-dah-day.

Any excuse will do to mention that he works in the "adult industry". But a brief perusal of his work in magic will quickly demonstrate A LAMENTABLE LACK OF ANY PERCEIVABLE SKILL TO BACK UP YOUR PONY, FUCKING CUNTISH, ATTITUDE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXCELLED IN WHAT YOU ONLY DREAM OF DOING, WHILE YOU PAY FOR A GODDAM BLOW-JOB FROM SOME FLY-BLOWN BINT.

The magic world does not rejoice in you baiting me. It weeps. For Big Dick Kaufman, and his many demons.

BS